Don't Even Start

Of all the asinine topics of conversation that have bugged me throughout my life, the most moronic of all is the question of whether we DREAM IN COLOR.

Right off the bat, before I can delve any deeper into the topic, let me answer it by saying Don't even start with me--OF COURSE we dream in color. I do, and by God so do you and so does everybody else with normal vision, so don't make me lose my mind by even insinuating otherwise.

My half-brother, when he was little, once asked our father, "Was everything in black and white when you were a kid?" And it's funny when a kid reasons that just because all the pictures he has seen from 1940 or '50 are in black and white, it indicates that life itself was colorless. It is senseless, however, when grown adults seem to think their dreams are on FILM.

You SEE in color, don't you? Well hell, when you remember the sandwich you ate for lunch, do you REMEMBER it in color? Then who do you suppose swoops in and magically turns your DREAMS to black and white?

I nearly wrecked my car the other day when some news report came on the radio announcing that older people, who grew up watching black and white TV, are more likely than the younger generation to dream in black and white. AARRRGGHH!! Following this brilliant theory, I wonder what people did before there was TV at all. Maybe around the turn of the century their dreams were silent, with subtitles. Perhaps people of Van Gogh's day dreamed in frickin' OIL. I suppose cavemen dreamed of rudimentary drawings instead of thundering herds of real buffaloes.

Just don't start even start.