Public Admission

Here is a short list of things that I like, that I am not supposed to like. For various reasons, it is not cool to like these things. Liking them means that some people may consider me bourgeois. Luckily, I do not care. So here they are:

1)American Idol. Turn your nose up all you want--this show helps me get through the loathesome cold, dark nights of winter. I have loved it from day one, because I like to sing and I like to gossip and judge people, so the attraction is obvious. Thank you, Idol, for helping my winter weeks go by. You're a lifesaver.

2)The Olive Garden. I am sure that if I were privileged to dine in actual Italy, I would recognize this restaurant as a Disneyland sort of facsimile. I might be able to tell whether their entrees were authentically Italian. Fortunately I am ignorant of all such things, and so I love to go there. They bring me something good (and meatless) to eat, and the atmosphere is plenty Italian enough for me, because what do I know from Italy?

3)Canned Biscuits and Instant Potatoes. A can of Hungry Jack biscuits costs about a dollar and I can do about six things with them to create about three full meals. They are light and airy, they split open easily, and they taste good. Instant potatoes are just good comfort food when you want something warm and savory, and they also cost only a dollar or two for a big honking box that will keep in your pantry for the next couple of years. Hey, and while we're at it, I like buttermilk and cornbread, too. That is, you put cornbread in a glass and pour buttermilk on it. Call me a hillbilly, I don't care.

Conversely, here are some things that I am supposed to like, and don't.

1) Red wine. I'm not overly fond of any wine, but red wine is served at room temperature and tastes like dirt. What's to like? It doesn't even get you drunk very fast, I don't suppose, though I've never been able to choke down enough to tell. Sushi and caviar are also heinously gross, by the way.

2) Classical music. I don't mind a little Canon in D if I'm, oh, in an elevator or something, but I would never under any circumstances actually choose to sit around listening to classical music.

3)Christmas.

Next time I'm going to list some pet peeves I've been saving up.